Oh, and by the way

That email/post about us moving was an informative thing, not an invite for public debate. Thank you for showing concern and love - we really don't want to leave our friends either, but the Lord is guiding us, please know that!

One of THOSE days

You know the kind...where you get crapped on?! Well, today, I literally did! Celeste woke up with the squirts...and its not just slightly runny...it's the type of runny that flows EVERYWHERE and defies gravity. Every time she stepped anywhere, there was another mess to clean up. Normally, I'm fine with this...feel bad for the poor little ones, but as long as they're otherwise acting normal, I'm fine. Under today's circumstances, however, not so much. She woke up drenched in brown, and needed a shower of sorts. So I stood her in the sink and hosed her down - needless to say, she avoided me for a while afterward, constantly giving me a very sober evil-eye. She went again after I'd already started the laundry going...there was outfit #2 in the wash (yes, I just counted her jammies as an outfit, so what). So I gathered towels needing to be laundered and started load #2. At lunch time, she was in the high chair and started to scream. I thought it was because no one was paying attention to her, but no. If it not for the towel that I hadn't removed the night before, we'd have a puddle to clean up...thank goodness for laziness sometimes, right?! I got her changed, yet again, but decided I was just going to throw her in the tub for a few to let it wash off. While I was getting her ready to go into the tub, I rolled up her shirt, so as not to get poo in her hair (hind-sight says, who cares, she's going in the tub anyway, DUH) and yanked...it got snagged on her chin and when it finally gave...poo splattered everywhere - including on me...and my face. Um, yeah, that wasn't really what I had been prepared for. I slowly undressed her the rest of the way, careful to not let the diaper drip anywhere (I know, it's gross, I'm sorry) and carefully put her in the tub to play. I immediately ran and cleaned myself up and changed - throwing load #3 in the wash. I washed her up when I got back (yes, bad mom moment - it was a moment of desperation I assure you) and got her dressed. When I came to the family room, Tyler was undressed clear to his diaper - he didn't take that off because he knows he'd have to use the toilet then! James also decided that he wasn't going to pause his playing to use the bathroom, so we've just had one of THOSE days...you get the idea.

On the upside, both dogs got "fixed" today and now have to wear "the cone of shame". Its a sad but funny thing to watch them get used to, but, the vets said they were both healthy dogs (even though Shadow was a few pounds overweight). No more worries about anythign that has to do with that stuff anymore for me! WOOHOO! So, now that I've sat here typing this, I guess I should go see what the kids are up to right about now!! I'm slightly afraid!

"Tomorrow Is A New Day..."

"...with no mistakes in it." ~Anne of Green Gables~

I've been putting off writing this email (or blog post - wherever you're reading it) because it seems when I write it out, or say it out loud, it's so....final! We're moving - again! This time, we're not staying in our ward (our Church boundaries - for those that aren't familiar with what a "ward" is), we're moving over an hour away from the area we've called home for almost 5 years now. It's insane to think about how close I really am to uprooting and leaving what I'm familiar with. I'm trying to stay positive about it, but it's been difficult. Today, I've spent a good portion of the afternoon in tears out of frustration (also due to much reflection). Chris is gone on another business trip, packing isn't going the way its supposed to (the way I've envisioned it - but what really does, come to think of it?!), I spent time with some very dear friends today and thoroughly enjoyed that time spent, which makes my leaving even harder to deal with. Terra's having a very rough time with leaving...she's 6 and a half now, so she gets the fact that this move will put her in a different school away from her friends here. She's cried about it and has had a few issues of her own since learning of the move. She's become more clingy (also brought on by school bullies), has informed us that she WILL be picked up from school from now on because she really hates riding the bus, and sometimes before going to bed tells us she's decided to not go to school in the morning. Well, she still rides the bus, there's no option about that one, and once she's actually AT school - she's jut fine! My afternoons are filled with a LOT of packing and I rather enjoy that time without helping hands (although Tyler still thinks he can "help" me out). Our new place of residence will be in Berthoud, CO. We signed papers last week and started moving this week and will be moving throughout the month of Feb.

Terra will be starting school March 1st, but there are no openings for James in any preschools up there this late in the year. Tyler will be starting preschool around his 3rd birthday (state mandated...he'll be going on under the pretense of a child with handicap even though he's not handicapped, just delayed in some ways...he'll grow out of those). It hasn't sunk in to James that he'll not be going back to school after Feb...not until Fall that is - when he starts Kindergarten. I'm sure he'll realize what's up when both Terra and Tyler are going, but he's not. Terra will be going to half-day kindergarten but has been doing all-day and is in the top of her class academically. I'm sure she'll be ahead of some of her classmates there as well, we'll just have to keep finding ways to challenge her...I have a feeling that many many trips to the library will be in order!! Well, I'd better get going. I have to get up early to put Terra on the bus to school since Chris isn't here to take her. I hope this finds you all well and I look forward to hearing from you all to get updates on what's new in your lives!

Love to you all -

Girl Scout Ceremony...

I missed it. The kids were laughing and playing all day, nothing seemed wrong at all. I got the kids all ready to go, changed bums and all, then put on Tyler's weighted vest to help calm him down a bit before the ceremony began. When we got there, I took everyone's coats off and handed them off to the leader so she could go put them away and then got busy taking Tyler's vest off. Just as I got it off and turned around to put it in the diaper bag, he threw up all over the entryway. I grabbed his hand and led him outside to cool off a bit and he threw up again on the door steps. I grabbed some snow and was rubbing it on the back of his neck and on his face to keep him cool and to wash away anything remaining on his face. We went back in and the clean up had already been done, so I informed them of the mess on the stairs outside and they went to clean that off as well. I felt terrible, embarrassed, worried, and frustrated all at the same time. A friend of mine was there and offered to take Terra for me so I could take the rest of them home. It just seems like this sort of stuff happens the most when my hubby is gone out of state on a business trip. It's rather aggravating, to say the least. As soon as I got home, I got the kids inside and fixed them a bedtime snack to digest before climbing into bed. I had planned on just skipping over Tyler and giving him fluids. He started snarfing everything down like he'd not been fed all day. He was fine. No fever, pail cheeks, bags under the eyes....none of that. It irritated me that there was really nothing wrong. I'd missed out on Terra's ceremony...both parents had! I felt bad for Terra, she had cried when I told her I had to go home and that someone would bring her home. I think something happened at school today, but I haven't had a chance to talk to just her about that. We'll see. Right now, I'm just letting them wind down a bit before I go put them all in bed for the night. An uninterrupted bubble bath sounds FABULOUS right now - however, if I start filling up the tub, none of the kids will want to sleep, they'll want to play in the tub forever and won't settle down! I'd rather just not soak in the tub than have to get out of it to put someone back in bed. Oh well, Chris will be home tomorrow, so maybe I can have that "quiet moment of me-time" when he gets here. Again, we'll see!

So, How 'Bout Them...

New Year's Resolutions?! They're already going down-hill, for me! Ah, who needs 'em anyway!

This year is just as crazy as last year, just minus the chicken pox this time (knocking on wood). Terra started Girl Scouts and the cookie sales started on Friday! How about that! Alright all you "dieters", start buyin', you KNOW you'll have crashed or sabotaged your diets by the time we get them to you anyway! LOL I seriously think that picking the NEW YEAR to sell them was a bad idea! Oh well.

I received a new calling at church. I was released from the Relief Society Music and put in as a Primary teacher. I have the CTR 5 class, which means I'm teaching James' age group. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids...but it seems like since I'm in there, my kids act up more...or maybe they're acting the same as before, I'm just witnessing it first hand now. Herumph! One of my resolutions was to have more patience with my kids. That doesn't bode well when I see that they're not acting the way they're supposed to - I completely lose my reserve to be patient and, well, lets just say that I end up not liking myself by the end of the day because I might have said hurtful things...So, it really struck me hard when they set me apart on Sunday (my second Sunday teaching). In the blessing I was promised that as I served valiantly in this calling, that I would have more patience with my own children at home, that life's circumstances wouldn't seem so stressful and that I would grow closer to my spouse as we endeavored to do the Lord's errand. I was encouraged to attend the temple regularly and that the Spirit would speak to me and lead me in ways to teach my/the children (I couldn't understand which word he used there...kids started to get restless - either way, I'll take it).

That blessing really left me to ponder quite a few aspects in my life. I seem to fall short in SO many ways, but my kids are all still alive and they SAY they still love me (well, the older two do anyway...we're still trying to get Tyler to say it...we're getting closer...and Celeste? Well, she gives me slobbery kisses, so I'll just take that as an 'I love you'!).

It led me to rethink my resolution, rather than just give up on it altogether. We came home and it seemed like the kids didn't wear on my nerves the way they had been for the past 6 or 7 weeks. I actually enjoyed having them around (not that I didn't before...I better stop before I dig a deeper hole). They still don't listen to simple instructions, but I don't blow a fuse at them when they don't, I simply explain it better...and give them an ultimatum of sorts - very calmly too. I'm quite impressed with myself.

Although, today, I find myself faltering again. Chris is on a business trip that seems to get longer and longer as the day progresses. He's probably not going to be back in time for Terra's Girl Scout Ceremony tomorrow night. She'll be "sworn in as a Girl Scout" and receive a pin for her vest. The stress of not having him here for something so important to her is aggravating me a tad, causing me to snap at the kids more. So, what did I do today? I went and got dinner rather than cooking it. I think its saved me for the evening. I'm already getting pj's on the kids (it's only 6 pm) and letting them play video games for a while before bedtime. I still need to pull Terra away from them and have her do her homework with me, but I'll get to that...eventually.

A hot, uninterrupted, bubble bath sound really fabulous right about now...anyone want a few children for a couple of hours?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two days before Christmas, one of my girlfriends and her family had a house fire. Not much was able to be salvaged from the "remains". Here is a couple of news reports on it, if you want to read about it (they almost all say the same thing).

http://www.9news.com/rss/article.aspx?storyid=129431
http://www.kdvr.com/news/sns-ap-co--strasburgfire,0,1122261.story
http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_14055910
nhu
They've since found a small home to rent temporarily and have been receiving tremendous amounts of help from the community and surrounding areas. Thanks to all who have prayed for them and we ask that you continue to pray for them. If you wish to donate anything, please do it in the form of a gift card, they're being overwhelmed with the amounts of things they are having to go through right now (and nowhere to really put any of it in storage).

New Frustrations Being Made Better By Christmas Spirit!

If you'll recall, I'd posted about my daughter being afraid to go to school all of a sudden. We thought that had been fixed and that she felt safe again. We were wrong. I had to bribe her to go to school the last two days before Christmas break began. I used the bus as leverage...she could ride the bus TO school if she would just go! On Friday, she (well, I) forgot her morning snack and realized this just as the bus was coming into view. This didn't leave me enough time to run back in and get it before the bus would get there. I promised her that it would be there for her when she got to school. When I got there the teacher questioned where Terra was and I explained that I had to bribe her to go to school and the reasoning...what was going on. Her teacher called me a liar (the NERVE!) and told me that that wasn't true, that *I* had been lied to and that there must be something else going on outside of school because she's always just fine when she gets to school. I had it out with her right there. Let's just say that teacher and I aren't exactly on good terms right now (and that she was put in her place and admitted her wrong-doing in the matter after a second chat after school)...it's a good thing that there's at least 2.5 weeks until I see her next.

We haven't had much progress by way of therapy for Tyler...we've had the sickies the last two weeks in a row and might have another bout of them again this week. We'll see how everyone is feeling on Tuesday morning.

I've started doing a sale until the end of the year for PartyLite, but haven't been having much luck (not that I expected a whole lot this close to Christmas, but I was hoping for at least something)! So, I've decided to offer this "prize sale" at my sister's party out in Salt Lake City, UT the day after Christmas.

*Each buying guest that has an order totaling $40 is eligible to get an item at half price in the catalog AND having their name entered into a drawing for a $20 gift certificate to use toward their next order on here! If you'd like to contact me for directions to get to this party or would like to make a purchase toward this party, please go to the link (to make a purchase click on "shop", click on "find your host" and then type in Nicole Keller, then click on her name and start shopping).

I'm all done (or was until this afternoon's realization of ONE more gift to buy) Christmas shopping! That is an amazing feeling of accomplishment. Now Santa's elves just need to come help me wrap these last few stragglers! Christmas music just as a way of making life wonderful again...especially after a bout of stress and anxiety that's happened around here. ALSO, we might be able to leave for "home" a day earlier than first thought! YAY! We'll know more tomorrow! I'M SO STOKED FOR CHRISTMAS!

Pity - Party Of One

Today has just been an off day. I really wish that there was a pause button on life just so I could take a breath...come up for air.

Tyler has been having a couple of down days...but, on the plus side, I can now understand some of the basic things that he's saying! That is HUGE! I find myself tearing up now with that realization (yes, I'm a boob!).

Chris threw his back out somehow (he thinks it's because of his visit with the chiropractor, that somehow she loosened things up enough for it to go out...lol, he thinks that his tight muscles before wouldn't have allowed this to happen to him). He's been taking some muscle relaxers every so often to help him sleep and by morning he feels semi-normal again, only to go to work and sit in a car for hours on end...causing the pain to come back.

Terra's been having issues with one of her teachers and a couple of bully-boys at school lately. In just a matter of a couple weeks, she no longer wants to go to school. She cries when we mention it and, even though it's her snack-day tomorrow, she still doesn't want to go...she really won't be going tomorrow because of the sickies. I'd thought that maybe she was making herself sick thinking about going back to school, but since the boys are now tossing cookies, that's been ruled out.

Celeste suffers from constipation issues, no matter what we try, she's still having problems. So, everyday, a couple times a day, I have to sit and hold her while she screams and pushes and cries until it's all over and done, and then she's happy and chatty again. Not on my fun list!

James ran out of pullups last week, so we told him he just had to stay dry and get up to go potty. The first night wasn't so great. He'd wake up screaming when he'd wet himself. We thought, well, at least he's recognizing it. It took him a day or so to finally tell me that when he peed, it got onto his arms (which are VERY sore and have open wounds from his eczema) and made them hurt really bad. This might be a morbid/mean thought on my part, but at least this might push him into training completely, faster. He's done really well most nights and has had a confidence boost...his teacher has noticed a bit of a difference at school with how he is doing.

And then there's me. Where to start...LOL! The other day, we needed to get to the post office before it closed, Chris had to drop off his van at the repair shop in town (just down the street from the PO) and he was running just a little bit late. I also had a party to do that night. He called and said he was close and to meet him there. It didn't dawn on me to just have him walk to the PO and I'd meet him there instead, so I hurried and was rushing the kids out the door. Whining ensued because shoes could not be found...I told them they didn't need them because they wouldn't be getting out of the car anyway. Finally I got everyone out to the car and as I was running, full speed, around the back side of the suburban, I glanced behind me to see what the noise was (wood falling off the pile), and ran full-force into the ball hitch! I did a flip and a twist and all sorts of graceful moves before hitting the cement floor. I thought for a few minutes that I'd broken my leg (mid-thigh). I finally managed to pull myself into the car and sobbed the whole way to the repair shop. If a cop would have been behind me, I'd have been pulled over for sure...I was driving with my left foot and could barely see the road through my tears. I got there and picked Chris up and we drove to the PO. Once there, we learned that the card machines were down and that they were hoping they'd be working again the next day. So, all this pain and agony for NOTHING! So, we got home, I got ready for the party and realized, there's NO WAY I can lift that box and walk on my leg...I could barely support myself. So, Chris came with me and dropped me off, carrying the box for me (even though his back hurt), and then came back to pick me up later. I was probably the worst consultant ever that night...I'd forgotten things at home, and couldn't stand up for long...and even had to assign someone to hand out tickets for a drawing. How's that for lame (no pun intended).

So, tonight, there I was...feeling sorry for myself (because the sickies have taken up residence in our house again...and both parents are gimpy), when I came across this blog that I'd read before about 10-11 months ago. I now find myself kicking myself for feeling so down and glum. This woman is AMAZING and strong. She is grateful for extremely small things in life (one post the first time I started reading was that she was happy that she could wipe herself again and had privacy in the bathroom again...read the blog, you'll understand when you read it). It made me think that I should start being more grateful for the small things in my life that DON'T go completely and insanely wrong!

So...here's my "Spectacular Sunday" post (seven things I'm grateful for).

1 - Not having a broken leg after my accident...although I'm thinking the muscle might be torn...only time will tell. I CAN WALK!

2 - Having a husband who will help me clean...even when he's in the middle of a video game (yes, he's a gaming geek) or watching a movie. He just presses pause and comes and helps me out so I'm not so overwhelmed anymore (like just now when both boys woke up crying and vomiting...yeah, that was great fun).

3 - Mt. Everdish is almost gone!

4 - That this particular sickie-stomach-bug seems to be only a 24 hour thing (we're hoping anyway)...Terra hasn't thrown up for almost 2.5 hrs now! WOOHOO!

5 - The stomach-bug hasn't hit me or Chris yet...that's always a perk and I'm hoping it skips us entirely!

6 - My house didn't burn down when Tyler was playing with fire a couple weeks ago. My mom just told me about some houses in her neighborhood that just went up in flames this evening and rumors are saying that the fire-fighters are being treated for hypothermia? I'm praying for all involved in that one...

7 - Living right across the street from the church...it has it's perks...this morning we woke up late and were only 5-ish minutes late for church...if we'd have lived further away, we would have probably missed the first block entirely!