Sunday, August 17, 2014

Infestations of what?! Oh my...

Howdy folks!  Yes, it’s been a while (a LONG while), No, I really have no excuses (well, maybe a few, but those are for another time, another post)!

Recently, we’ve learned of a very unfortunate, annoying, just down right irritating (both literal and figurative) outbreak.  If you live in Northern Colorado, you’ve probably already heard through the grapevine that your child’s friend’s neighbor’s cousin has been affected by the dreaded head lice.  Dun, dun, DUN!!!!!!!!!!  Having dealt with this a time or two with my own children, here’s a few tips:

  • DON’T PANIC! As awful as these might seem, they don’t carry diseases, they’re just annoying.  They’re not hard to get rid of, but you do need to be consistent.
  • If you’re in the store to buy the head lice shampoo and are in a hurry, the fastest way to clear the isle, is to send your freshly shaved child down it and tell them to hunt for the word ‘lice’.  Nothing scares people away faster, I’ve found.  It’s true!  However, your child doesn’t need to be shaved bald, it just adds to the effect!
  • You should treat everyone in your house, even if only one person has been found to have lice.
  • Do NOT feel, or let others make you feel, like this is a lack of cleanliness issue.  Lice prefer clean, warm atmospheres to live. They can’t get their eggs to stick if it’s not clean, so they won’t want to live in that unclean environment. So, GREAT JOB on keeping your kid’s head clean!
  • Tea Tree oil (or Melaleuca oil, depending on where you buy it from) will become your best friend for a while!  Shampoo, conditioner, oil infused spray bottle…all of it!  It aids in getting rid of the lice around your house.  Cats don’t particularly like the smell of it, so beware, they might “act out” a little until the smell dissipates.  Spray it on bedding, couches, closets, drawers, everything.  That way, if one of the little beggars falls off one person, it won’t survive long enough to “latch on” to another person (lice need a blood supply to live on, so they can't survive very long without one anyway). You can use this as a daily leave-in treatment to help prevent a re-occurrence.  
  • Wash ALL clothing and bedding on the hottest cycle possible, without shrinking your clothes.  Laundromats work wonders for this!  Get it all done at once with industrial washers and hotter water than you have at home!
  • Boil ALL hair items.  Brushes, combs, elastics, headbands, bows, ribbons, all of it!  It will kill off any live, or hatching critters that have gotten onto those items!
  • Hot oil treatments (or cold oil, coconut oil and olive oil work great too) in your hair…not JUST for healthier looking tresses!  I did this every other day on my oldest when she had them!  No more bugs in her hair!  YAY!  Smear the oil on the scalp and down the hair shaft, wrap the hair in a shower cap, leave in for ½ hour, wash out.  I never washed it out thoroughly, remember, the greasier the hair (as nasty looking/feeling as that is), the less likely they’ll want to stick around – they can’t make their eggs stay put! (*note – I’ve also used Listerine as a leave in treatment because I ran out of oil…it killed them off too {if you’re looking for more natural ways of ridding your family of these pesky things})
  • After a few days of dealing with greasy hair pulled back in a pony tail, I’d do a thorough rinse with a mixture of ½ Apple Cider Vinegar and ½ Water. Then I washed their hair out like normal.  Sometimes it took a couple times of doing this, but it always cleaned it out really good!
  • Lice hate garlic, so eat a lot of it during the treatment process. This makes them less likely to reattach. (NOTE: This will not help to get rid of them and is only a preventative measure against re-infestation).
  • ABOVE ALL use the lice comb that comes with the treatment shampoo at the store to comb through their hair at LEAST once a week for the next few weeks to be sure you’ve gotten rid of them all.  No sense putting yourself through it all again!

Good luck, everyone!  Happy hair treatments to all!! :)

Monday, January 28, 2013

These Are The "Special" Times...For Sure!

For those that might not be aware, I was put on bedrest last week.  Boo.  I have 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour in the evening to get things done for me, or they just plain don't get done.  Think this is easy?  HAHA nope!  Think again!

After kids got off to school this morning, I started my "1 hour to get things done" routine.  I texted my hubby to see who had meds this morning and who still needed them.  I got a response of "nobody had any...oops" D=

So I put shoes on the little girls and they took themselves out to the car and got in all by themselves (love this part of independence), I got everyone's meds and took them to school.  Another mommy I know was just leaving school so I flagged her down and she sat with the Littles while I went inside, looking as put together as a pregnant mom in pj's could.  The kids were paged to come down to the office.  It was really quite funny watching them peek around the corner, with a concerned look of "am I in trouble?!" on their face, and then when they saw me, waving at them like an excited, geeky, nerd, they relaxed and came over to get their meds, and then went merrily back to class.  They still love me, probably because nobody "of importance" was around to see their extremely well put together, geeky/nerdy mom show up and wave at them like a dork.

The Littles and I came home and I had enough time (my 15 minute alarm went off to alert me that I need to start wrapping things up FAST) to get them their doses and breakfast and hurry (as fast as my poor chubby body would allow anyway) and grab enough water to last until lunch time, the house phone, my cell phone and a few snacks to give to the "begging urchins" when requested and put my feet up in the recliner.  This morning was actually not very active as far as contractions go.  YAY!  It's the small things that bring such great joy these days!

After a few phone calls and text messages, it was decided that Chris would be home in time to pick kids up today and do paperwork for his job for the rest of the day, so I chanced taking my "1 hour to myself" and finish the stuff that I missed this morning (like a shower and getting dressed...not all that important, right?  RIGHT?!).  All this after I got up to make lunch (corndogs...WOOHOO! yes, it's processed food and no I don't care right now...they're full and happy and I wasn't on my feet for more than 5-10 minutes making it for them!) and put the youngest down for a nap.  C is sitting on the couch with my iPad watching netflix and playing games.  I still have a half hour left for my night time routine'll probably take me that long to get back into my pj's though (getting dressed for the day is SO over-rated, I've decided!).

Still think it's easy to be on bedrest?  I challenge you to do it for 2-3 days.  Set a timer for 1 cheating and going over!  Get EVERYTHING you need to for the day done in that time frame (shower, get dressed, grab everything that you'd do - paperwork, books, phones, etc - and place them around you within arm's reach).  Then sit with your feet reclined up.  Sounds nice right?  Now, let's get some well trained toddlers (or dogs...they'll work too) to grab your stuff you stashed and run away from you, spreading papers and things around the living room.  They should also dump out their goldfish crackers and smash them into the carpet thoroughly, then spill water/juice/milk and clean it up as well as any child (tossing a towel in the general direction and saying "ALL CLEAN!" and clapping, quite proud of themselves).  The older kids (that were running late that morning) left their breakfast on the table...cereal is the next great adventure of the toddler's day.  Large spoons full of soggy cheerios are dripping from the curtains and surrounding table areas, but...NO!  You can't get up and clean it, I'm sorry.  Just sit there, twiddling your thumbs...possibly try to browse Facebook to distract yourself from the rapidly growing mess at hand!

Remember that potty training toddler?  Yeah, you're still stubborn and bull-headed enough to make it work!  You have to convince them that going independently, without you helping them is a good idea...especially after they've fallen into the toilet (literally) numerous times before this (yes, you can get up to save them from the potty monster, but you MUST hurry back to your perch...and then back track because all that moving has made you realize you, too, need to visit the potty monster and escape unscathed and triumphant).

When the kids get home from school, where do all their supplies land?  Right in the middle of the goldfish mess.  And they expect you to be able to reach their backpack to sign papers/planners/homework when it's 6 feet or more away from you.  They half-heartedly do their chores and homework, and sort of help you clean up stuff that's supposed to be "mommy chores" and then beg and plead to go outside, or downstairs to play.  Daddy does his best to keep up with the cooking and cleaning in the kitchen and really does a good job (bless his heart) and tries to run interference so mommy can have a few moments of quite time.  All this time, things don't get cleaned to "mommy standards" and just get pushed aside, laundry piles up (because it's downstairs and mommy can't see it...out of sight, out of mind, right?!) and a few days later, they all wonder why they only have a couple pairs of clean clothes to change into, then it's a mass haul, which makes everyone hate laundry even more.  Then dinner, bedtime routines, scriptures, prayer and storytime as they drift off to sleep (all accomplished by daddy, because you're supposed to be sitting and not helping, remember?).  Then you have your 1 hour to get things done at night time, but, it's hard work growing a baby and you're tired, so the best you can do is get pj's on and get into bed. 

Repeat all this tomorrow and the next day...and the next.  As you sit there, see how dusty everything is, and another full bag (it seems) of goldfish are smushed into the carpet and only partially cleaned up, and you realize how badly the kitchen floor needs to be swept (because we all know how well kids do these things themselves).  But remember, you can't do it, you're supposed to be sitting down.  It sounds like a great Caribbean vacation (minus the beaches and warm, tropical weather) at first, until you realize all the stuff you're supposed to be doing and just can't.  Then it really starts to catch up with you and mess with your mind a little bit.  .

Then you become snarky and sarcastic to make life easier to deal with (because laughing is better than crying).  You get all sorts of excited because your house gets cleaned (actually CLEANED, to mommy standards) once a week, on the weekends.  You begin to take joy and pleasure in the smallest and simplest things and it really makes you realize how blessed you really are.  You should try it...for real!  But no cheating or breaking the me, it doesn't bring happiness for the next couple days!

Thursday, October 11, 2012


I suppose since I haven't updated in a while and people are asking.....

We have slowly started to settle into things here in Pierce.  It's a big change from Berthoud in many ways, not all of them bad either!  We were supposed to buy a house, but, as most (if not all) of you know, it fell through just before we were supposed to close on it.  We had already registered our kids for school up here, school had started already and things were well underway for them, we didn't want to disrupt them, so we scrambled to find a place to live within the district boundaries.  We found a modest home for rent that allowed pets, so we moved in immediately.  The house is about 1000 sq ft smaller than where we moved from, but the yard makes up for that.  The kids LOVE playing outside most days.  We still have many boxes (because of the smaller space) to go through, but we're getting there slowly.

I'm expecting again, it was quite the shocker for us, but we're pretty excited about a new little one coming in April!  We had an ultrasound to check my dates because I was measuring big and they didn't have to "dig" for the heartbeat at my first appointment.  They also mentioned "more than one" in passing, but I brushed that off immediately, but then started having nightmares about it.  The ultrasound day came and we went in...only ONE baby is in there and he/she is measuring right on track for the April due date we originally thought.  I just have "big insides" (I think that's medical slang for, "you're fat"). One thing was found at my ultrasound, however, that wasn't the best news ever.  I've got another subchorionic hematoma (same thing I had with Aralynn).  Aralynn's was right behind the placenta and was threatening her viability.  This one is near the cervix, so I'm more likely to bleed, which isn't great either.  Since its not threatening the baby directly, I"m not on modified bedrest like I was before, but I'm still on pelvic rest (no hanky-panky and no heavy lifting).  When they first called, they just mentioned bedrest, then they called back to clarify.  Frustrating still the same, I can't do everything I'd like to do, or normally do, but as long as I don't have to lay down all the time, I think I can handle this!

A few weeks ago, we got a phone call from the Spec. Ed teacher at the school.  She had concerns for Tyler and wanted to do more assessments on him, including an Autism assessment.  It shocked me and completely took me aback.  When you discover you have a special needs child, you go through a sort of "mourning period" where you mourn the "perfect child that will never be" but then you realize just how perfect your child really is and you move on, trying to help others see this perfection too.  I never thought I'd go through that process twice.  Does this make me a bad mom for feeling that way?  No.  It's normal, but it's how we react to it all after its said and done that makes us good/bad parents.  I finally realized after letting out some frustrations that he's still going to be the end of the day, that's not going to change.  The only change that will happen is how *I* (and his teachers) can help him and further his education.  They're not going to send home a completely different child, complete with helmet and wheelchair, and say "Here's your new kid, deal with it, lady!"  Once I got that out of the way, I started doing research and talking with a few people I know around here to help me with local resources.  After all the evaluations were done, we had a 2.5 hour long meeting to discuss all the findings.  It was concluded that he's in a new school, new home, new environment entirely, so they are going to put the Autism thing on the back burner for now and let him adjust.  He has new hours for his therapies and new techniques that will be used to help him out.  If, in a year's time, we decide he still is "out of sorts" then we'll further the Autism assessments, but for now, we'll just stick with SPD with a speech impairment.  There have also been a few things arise this year that have thrown us for a loop and we've become well acquainted with the Spec Ed teacher and the school counselor over this.  It's just another bump in the road to overcome.

Also recently we lost a member of our family.  Our beloved dog, Shadow, had to be put down.  Her quality of life had diminished, she was very sick and it was a very difficult decision that we came to.  The kids saw Chris load her in the car and take her to work...the kids think she fell asleep in the car and didn't wake up.  We figured it would be easier for them to deal with thinking she had passed on her own.  They're not at an age that they understand fully assisting pets along with that part of life.  They struggled with it then, and still do.  There are times when they will come up in the middle of the night crying because they miss her.  It's going to be a long road to deal with, but we'll all survive.

Chris is still super busy with work, traveling around and working long hours.  I am busy with kids, boxes, morning sickness and other household chores around here.  I got a couple new callings at church too, that keep me on my toes.  Chris and I teach in primary and I am on the RS planning committee and am a visiting teacher. Terra got reading glasses over the summer, and is LOVING her new class this year.  She's starting to be at the top of the class again, with the current teacher she has giving her praise everyday!  James is still...James.   He keeps trying to outsmart and out-whit us with his antics, but he's still such a joy and a happy kid!  We must be doing something right!!  Tyler is progressing and is off the charts in math and reading/literacy.  Smart kids we have here!  Celeste is loving preschool and it has helped her rid some of her "bad habits" that she learned from her older brother, already!  The teacher said she's so much more mature than the other kids, that she has to keep reminding herself that she's still not quite 4 years old!  Aralynn loves getting into mischief and going for walks to explore this new area we're in.  She loves to try and torment the kitties and they just look at her like she's crazy for trying. LOL

Monday, July 9, 2012


We were very blessed this week.  How, you might ask?  Well, I'll tell you.  We had been fasting and praying for rain for our dear state because of all the devastating wild fires, and boy, did we get it!  It looked a little something like this at first:

Then this:

As you can see, we were a bit carefree in that video.  We hadn't yet noticed that the window wells were filling up.  The bark that was laid right next to the house, by the end of this storm, ended up in the grass and we had rivers running through different parts of our small yard and down the driveway.  Almost immediately following this video, we decided to go place the pans downstairs (there's a leak that comes from the front porch and drips in one of the bedrooms downstairs - the one that was being used as our "storage unit" for all our packed boxes).  Chris went to go do that while I watched the kids for a minute longer.  I told them to all come inside and turned to go inside myself and noticed the window well below the porch.  It was filled all the way to the bottom of the window...and the rain was still pouring down.  I ushered everyone inside quickly and grabbed a larger bucket and a smaller one that I could scoop water and dump into the larger one with.  I grabbed a few towels and dashed downstairs.  Chris was making sure the pot was under the leak just so and I pointed out the window well.  He immediately checked the floor.  It was soaked, the wall was wet.  We started moving as many boxes as we could to the opposite side of the room and then opened the window and I started bailing with the small bucket.  We quickly realized that was NOT going to help at all.  Chris put his phone and wallet on a box and jumped out into the well with the larger bucket and started bailing out onto the grass.  Within less than 2 minutes, he was soaked and dripping wet from the rainfall.  He had to bail the window well 3 different times before the rain let up enough for him to come inside and change out of his dripping wet clothes.  This picture does NOT do it justice at all, because he really looked like a drowned rat!

After he got out of his wet clothes, we went back downstairs to try and soak up the water out of the carpets.  Queue the dirty blankets/towels that I hadn't washed yet.  The kids would bring Chris a blanket, he'd lay it down, they'd all jump up and down on it and do "pow-wow dances" on it and then the kids would drag it back to the laundry room, dripping water the whole way, grab another and run back....repeated until there were no more blankets or towels to do that with.  Then we just put everyone to bed and prayed that things wouldn't get worse.  We got up the next morning and went to church and came home to survey the damage.  I ended up going to the store and getting a fan so we could dry out floors.  Terra's floor got wet too, so we dried her room out first.  I've been doing laundry for 2 days and have finally made it 2/3 the way through the pile of "mopping materials".  This is what my laundry room looks like at the moment (and I still have my regular laundry to do too).

I switched the fan over to the other room (the one where all the tragedy and most of the action happened) and decided to scope out the damage to the boxes and all our belongings in there.  The miraculous blessing in all of this?  There was only ONE box that got damaged, and most of the damage was to the box, not too much inside.  The books can be dried out and are still usable!

 Here is a pic of all we had to get out of the way:

The rest of the blessings that happened?  Things could have been so much worse!  Our family is still in tact, our belongings are safe, and the kids have a very memorable experience of dancing in the rain and then on the blankets downstairs with daddy!  I'd say we have it pretty darn good, right about now!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Turning Flat Sheets Into Fitted Sheets (Twin size)

I don't know about most of you, but for us, it's a waste of money, almost, to buy a full set of sheets, because only the fitted half gets used.  My kids are just like their daddy.  They don't like the top sheet and will kick it off and it just gets dragged around the house, making everything a mess from there on out.  They're great fort-makers, but they're "not dark enough" according to the kids.  I don't know why I kept hanging on to the top sheets for so many years...maybe it was in hopes that the kids would over-come their crazy stage of kicking them off and I'd finally get to use them.  After pricing the cost of actual water-proof bed covers for a couple of my "still-night-wetters", I was taken aback by how much they cost!  Good grief! For the good quality ones that will last more than one night/one washing, the base price was about a hundred dollars!  No thanks!  I started to think back to the day when I cloth diapered one of my kiddos.  My sister-in-law had purchased some PUL fabric for a fairly decent price and that brought on the thought process can I turn one of those large pieces of fabric into a fitted sheet?!  I started researching online and found a whole bunch of sites that had measurements that were needing to be converted (you know me and math) or were in an entirely foreign language.  No amount of "speaking slow while raising your voice" would make me understand that...especially since the pictures were sort of blurry.  I just wanted exact measurements.  I could muddle through the rest!  Well, I purchased the PUL fabric for 3 sheets (twin size) and brought them home.  The cost (as staggering as it was) was still cheaper than buying ONE mattress cover (plus, I got a 50% coupon so I could go back and get another cut of fabric to make a couple more extras).  Since I didn't have an exact measurement to go by, I guessed at the amounts I'd need.  I got 3 yards of each of the three colors.  I came home and started to stress out about cutting into this $12.99/yard fabric, because if I messed up, there was no going back and we'd be out that much money!  EEEEK!  So, I sat and thought some more and remembered the top sheets that were sitting in my cupboard collecting dust.  BINGO!  My practice materials!!! I got it out and..... never fails.

I started off by cutting off the seams.  Then, I cut out the 10.5" squares from each corner (this much, I DID get from my online research).  I stitched those up to make it "fitted" and then found some extra elastic that I had here.  I cut that up into 8 equal pieces (I was planning on making 2 mock-ups before cutting into the real thing).  I stretched them out and stitched them on. was too big for the mattress.  So after a few quick recalculations, I went back to the drawing board and started over on another top sheet.  I finished that on up and.....IT FIT PERFECTLY!!!!!!!!!!!  So then I followed the same steps again:

Cut material to 58" by 92".
Cut 10.5 inch squares off each corner
Stitch them to make them "fitted"
Sew in 12" of elastic in each corner to help it stay on the mattress**

This is the end result:

Pretty!!!!!  If you want added protection, you can put layers on underneath this, but it fits like a fitted sheet should!  I'll let ya know how these work out.  This is on Terra's bed (since the cats sometimes don't seem to think their litter box is the place to "go").  We sprayed down her bed with citrus spray (since that's supposed to repel cats from "doing their thing" and put this on over top of it.  We'll see how it goes!  The real test will be for the boys.  When I get theirs up and running, I'll give an update!

**NOTES: Since I used PUL fabric, I didn't make a hem or a casing for the doesn't fray.  If you're turning a top sheet into a fitted, you'll want to at least surge around the edges if you don't want to hem it up or make a casing.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Your Plate's Full? No, I Think We Can Add To That...

We are under contract for another house again.  WOOHOO!!!  There are stresses that go along with this process though, more than the last one, but we'll survive.  I thought I was strong enough, but today has proved otherwise.  I've had a hard time keeping my composure in front of the kids and just completely lost it after Chris got home and told me about his day.  He asked about my day and sat as I blubbered through it, listening patiently, rubbing my back.  I love that man!

I redid our budget for the rest of the year to accommodate the "added stresses" of this new house.  We're gonna be living like paupers for a few months, I sure hope we can get through it all.

Aralynn had an appointment check up this morning.  She's over 20 lbs (HOORAY!!!!) and is finally out of the 10%.....she made it to just below the 15%!!  WOOT WOOT!  But......

...there's always that big "but", isn't there?!

Her soft spot is still open.  Not just a little bit.  It's not getting's WIDE open.  I can fit my index and middle fingers, side by side, up to the first knuckle.  It's been that way since birth.  If it's not closed up by her 2nd b-day, in we go to another specialist at Children's Hospital.  This poor child is going to really end up hating that place by the age of 5.  She's already got issues with doctor's offices.  She tries to hide and cries the whole time.  Not just normal "boo hoo there's stranger danger going on".  No.  Its more like "THEY'RE MURDERING ME AND YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING TO STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!"  Yup.  That makes me feel awesome.  Anyway, it's not a "huge deal" but it's just "one more thing" to add to my plate right now.  I've been having a hard time coping with that, and of course, my mommy thought process is thinking the worst case scenario.  The sordid part of my though process is "I have window lickers already.  Now I'll have a helmet-wearing-window-licker to add to the bunch!"

Thursday, June 14, 2012

It's Raining, Or Is It Pouring?

I've started and deleted this post about a dozen times.  I've "written" it in my mind, but then when I get to paper and pencil, or computer and keyboard, I can't remember half of what I had (which was all good stuff, mind you) or, it just doesn't feel right to put out there.  So, after wiping the slate clean, I'm just sitting here, about to wing it.

We lost the house which we had tried so hard for, the other day.  All because the inspector listed an outbuilding as a "barn".  With the type of loan we're getting, we can't have a barn on the premises or it won't qualify for the loan.  We were 3 days away from signing the papers on it.  The sellers are livid, understandably so.  They are claiming that they will get a lawyer and take us to court over this so they can get "due diligence" or at least the earnest money.  That's a lot of stress to deal with.  There's nothing they'd be able to do to us (we were protected by a contract agreement that they signed, too), but still, it's aggravating. We're hurting too, but, when in pain, it's hard to see that there are others suffering as well.  I don't blame them, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't harbor feelings for the threat of law-suits. That's a hard pill to swallow, but I'm working on it.

Now on to the boxes in the house.  The bane of my existence (for more than one reason). If I could magically make them hide, that would be great.  We can live comfortably on what is still left out, but seeing them here is a big reminder and also a big trigger for poor Tyler.  It's frustrating.  He's acting out and being naughty, but a lot of it he can't how should punishments go?  Do I punish him for his disability?  Because, in essence, that's the "why" behind the "what" that is going on around here. The boxes are also an eye-sore.  They're not pretty....even if I drape a table cloth over the top of them (not saying I've tried this tactic....ok, well, maybe I have)...that just makes it worse.  My house is starting to look like an episode of "hoarders".  I wasn't too worried about cleaning and house work, mainly because it'd be easier to clean it without all this stuff in here, including the furniture.  Yeah, well, now that all THAT isn't going anywhere, I'm left with a makes it look like I'm a terrible house keeper.  Shhh, don't tell anyone!

But, on a happier note, I have an amazing family.  My husband got home from his business trip and gave me a hug and a kiss, and then just held me for a bit.  I would have stayed there forever, but....piano lessons and life were calling, so...*sigh*.  We immediately started re-evaluating things.  Praying for guidance and then we looked on the internet for what was available.  it's slim-pickin's compared to when we started looking (over a year ago).  We're trying to not get disheartened and keep positive, but that's easier said than done.  Today I've had to make a conscious effort to stop the bad/negative thoughts from consuming me. So, 5 things that make me happy today are:

1 - Its Chris's and my 10th wedding anniversary!  Crazy to think its been 10 years, but they've been wonderful and I've loved it all!
2 - We got some beautiful family pictures done, and I'm loving them thoroughly!
3 - My brother-in-law dropped everything to come out and help us pick up the pieces...and to give Chris and I a break from the kids for our anniversary!
4 - My family, Chris's family - they're behind us 100% and I've felt their love and encouragement more these last couple of days.  Thanks guys!
5 - Prayer.  Just after we'd received the news on the house, I was crying and wandering aimlessly around the house.  My friend, Anna, posted something on her blog that brought on the thought "Sandi, just pray, trust me."  I went to my room and knelt beside my bed and prayed.  Even though it didn't take the tears away, or the hurt entirely, it brought peace and a feeling of "It's gonna be ok, you watch and see."  I trust those words, thoughts and feelings and cling to them now, more than ever.  We will be ok. We'll just paste a smile on and muddle through it all.  It's gonna be ok, you watch and see.