Monday, January 28, 2013

These Are The "Special" Times...For Sure!

For those that might not be aware, I was put on bedrest last week.  Boo.  I have 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour in the evening to get things done for me, or they just plain don't get done.  Think this is easy?  HAHA nope!  Think again!

After kids got off to school this morning, I started my "1 hour to get things done" routine.  I texted my hubby to see who had meds this morning and who still needed them.  I got a response of "nobody had any...oops" D=

So I put shoes on the little girls and they took themselves out to the car and got in all by themselves (love this part of independence), I got everyone's meds and took them to school.  Another mommy I know was just leaving school so I flagged her down and she sat with the Littles while I went inside, looking as put together as a pregnant mom in pj's could.  The kids were paged to come down to the office.  It was really quite funny watching them peek around the corner, with a concerned look of "am I in trouble?!" on their face, and then when they saw me, waving at them like an excited, geeky, nerd, they relaxed and came over to get their meds, and then went merrily back to class.  They still love me, probably because nobody "of importance" was around to see their extremely well put together, geeky/nerdy mom show up and wave at them like a dork.

The Littles and I came home and I had enough time (my 15 minute alarm went off to alert me that I need to start wrapping things up FAST) to get them their doses and breakfast and hurry (as fast as my poor chubby body would allow anyway) and grab enough water to last until lunch time, the house phone, my cell phone and a few snacks to give to the "begging urchins" when requested and put my feet up in the recliner.  This morning was actually not very active as far as contractions go.  YAY!  It's the small things that bring such great joy these days!

After a few phone calls and text messages, it was decided that Chris would be home in time to pick kids up today and do paperwork for his job for the rest of the day, so I chanced taking my "1 hour to myself" and finish the stuff that I missed this morning (like a shower and getting dressed...not all that important, right?  RIGHT?!).  All this after I got up to make lunch (corndogs...WOOHOO! yes, it's processed food and no I don't care right now...they're full and happy and I wasn't on my feet for more than 5-10 minutes making it for them!) and put the youngest down for a nap.  C is sitting on the couch with my iPad watching netflix and playing games.  I still have a half hour left for my night time routine'll probably take me that long to get back into my pj's though (getting dressed for the day is SO over-rated, I've decided!).

Still think it's easy to be on bedrest?  I challenge you to do it for 2-3 days.  Set a timer for 1 cheating and going over!  Get EVERYTHING you need to for the day done in that time frame (shower, get dressed, grab everything that you'd do - paperwork, books, phones, etc - and place them around you within arm's reach).  Then sit with your feet reclined up.  Sounds nice right?  Now, let's get some well trained toddlers (or dogs...they'll work too) to grab your stuff you stashed and run away from you, spreading papers and things around the living room.  They should also dump out their goldfish crackers and smash them into the carpet thoroughly, then spill water/juice/milk and clean it up as well as any child (tossing a towel in the general direction and saying "ALL CLEAN!" and clapping, quite proud of themselves).  The older kids (that were running late that morning) left their breakfast on the table...cereal is the next great adventure of the toddler's day.  Large spoons full of soggy cheerios are dripping from the curtains and surrounding table areas, but...NO!  You can't get up and clean it, I'm sorry.  Just sit there, twiddling your thumbs...possibly try to browse Facebook to distract yourself from the rapidly growing mess at hand!

Remember that potty training toddler?  Yeah, you're still stubborn and bull-headed enough to make it work!  You have to convince them that going independently, without you helping them is a good idea...especially after they've fallen into the toilet (literally) numerous times before this (yes, you can get up to save them from the potty monster, but you MUST hurry back to your perch...and then back track because all that moving has made you realize you, too, need to visit the potty monster and escape unscathed and triumphant).

When the kids get home from school, where do all their supplies land?  Right in the middle of the goldfish mess.  And they expect you to be able to reach their backpack to sign papers/planners/homework when it's 6 feet or more away from you.  They half-heartedly do their chores and homework, and sort of help you clean up stuff that's supposed to be "mommy chores" and then beg and plead to go outside, or downstairs to play.  Daddy does his best to keep up with the cooking and cleaning in the kitchen and really does a good job (bless his heart) and tries to run interference so mommy can have a few moments of quite time.  All this time, things don't get cleaned to "mommy standards" and just get pushed aside, laundry piles up (because it's downstairs and mommy can't see it...out of sight, out of mind, right?!) and a few days later, they all wonder why they only have a couple pairs of clean clothes to change into, then it's a mass haul, which makes everyone hate laundry even more.  Then dinner, bedtime routines, scriptures, prayer and storytime as they drift off to sleep (all accomplished by daddy, because you're supposed to be sitting and not helping, remember?).  Then you have your 1 hour to get things done at night time, but, it's hard work growing a baby and you're tired, so the best you can do is get pj's on and get into bed. 

Repeat all this tomorrow and the next day...and the next.  As you sit there, see how dusty everything is, and another full bag (it seems) of goldfish are smushed into the carpet and only partially cleaned up, and you realize how badly the kitchen floor needs to be swept (because we all know how well kids do these things themselves).  But remember, you can't do it, you're supposed to be sitting down.  It sounds like a great Caribbean vacation (minus the beaches and warm, tropical weather) at first, until you realize all the stuff you're supposed to be doing and just can't.  Then it really starts to catch up with you and mess with your mind a little bit.  .

Then you become snarky and sarcastic to make life easier to deal with (because laughing is better than crying).  You get all sorts of excited because your house gets cleaned (actually CLEANED, to mommy standards) once a week, on the weekends.  You begin to take joy and pleasure in the smallest and simplest things and it really makes you realize how blessed you really are.  You should try it...for real!  But no cheating or breaking the me, it doesn't bring happiness for the next couple days!