Almost...But Not Quite

I went to church this morning, fully intending on staying the whole time. I don't think I even made it half way through the first hour! Cramps in my lower abdomen brought on the tears and scared Chris, he offered to carry me out to my mom's car, but I declined and limped my way through blurred vision out to her car. She grabbed Celeste and made her way after me - Celeste is having issues of her own this weekend :( .

Yesterday I went shopping with my mom. Shouldn't have done that! Four stores plus a cranky baby that has unidentified bug bites ALL OVER her body, equals a long and tiring day. I did WAY too much. I woke up yesterday feeling awesome and thought I could handle that. I guess I just shouldn't "think" about things and just sit still...which is difficult for me to do.
I was somewhat tired and sore last night when I went to bed and I had to stop myself from wishing this pregnancy would be over. I know that reality could actually happen...in a bad way! I have had to stop that thought a few times already. "I just wish it would be over with already...no wait, I don't wish that. Nevermind!"

On Friday, I ended up taking Celeste in to the doctors because of a bug bite that started to blister. It looked awful (the pics are after a few hours when the swelling went down some)! She has since gotten a few more of those bites so we decided we REALLY needed to spray the outside of the house and the girls' room to kill off anything that's there! Oh the joys!

The doctors want us to bring her back in on Monday or Tuesday for a recheck of the bite (we'll be showing him the other bites as well). It makes me nervous that she's getting all these bites...just how much venom can a small child take before it starts to wreak major havoc on her poor little body?!

Happiness is...

Happiness, for me, is finding out that I didn't really fail the gestational diabetes testing after all! YAY!!! I'm over here just being happy about it all...smiling, crying, laughing and shouting for joy!! Oh the joys of being "normal"!

Feeling Grateful

I've had a few people talk to me about their thyroid problems (young moms), and they've got healthy kids. I've also had a few people remind me of the blessing that I received a few weeks ago. Today, I went to Sacrament meeting at church, and then Mom and I came home. I've been feeling nauseated this morning, so decided it would probably be best to come home and rest (since I "ran marathons" yesterday). While sitting in church listening to the speakers pay tribute to their fathers, their children, their husbands, etc., I got the overwhelming feeling that I need to trust in Chris's blessing more. Mom and I talked about it on the way home some. She said she felt that this baby would be just fine. It would be healthy, I would be healthy (once things settled down) and that things would turn out alright. I still have nagging worries in the back of my mind about this little one. The first trimester is the most crucial to the baby's development, and they didn't find the thyroid problem until the trimester was almost over! That, scientifically, worries me! But, Spiritually...I don't know how to explain it. I'm not panicking. I feel comfort and peace around me today. I'm so very grateful that I was able to go to church today, so that I'd be more in tune to these feelings! I apologize that my posts might seem of the "doom's day" sort lately. That was how I was feeling for the longest time about all of this. I couldn't bear the thought of losing this baby. We've been through so much, that to just suddenly have her gone...I couldn't handle that thought. Both Chris and my mom (and few others through emails, comments, phone calls, etc) have brought me back to reality and reminded me of God's greatness in all of this. His hand has been there, protecting my family, me, my baby. He's been such a comfort, and I really need to learn to trust in that comfort more!

My Grandma sent me an email a while back that encouraged me to read an article in the May Ensign about healing. I might have blogged about this before, but I really am too lazy to go back check...sorry!!!

Healing The Sick, by Dallin H. Oaks talk about priesthood blessings and how they can and DO help people during times of trial and illness. It works through (1) annointing, (2) sealing the annointing, (3) faith, (4) words of the blessing, and (5) will of the Lord.

I have every faith today that Chris spoke the will of the Lord in that blessing that was given to me. I'm holding that blessing very dear to my heart right now. I'm clinging to it...I don't want this to sound wrong, but almost in desperation? I'm still working on it, but I want so badly for all things to be well. I'm grateful to have a husband who is faithful and true enough to the Priesthood which he holds to be able to bless our family with the goodness that comes from God. I'm also very grateful to come from a family which instilled that example in me at a young age. Happy Fathers Day to my dad, my husband and my father-in-law. Thank you ALL for being such great examples in my life and, especially, thank you to my father-in-law for raising such a man that is worthy of this great honor of the Priesthood!

Marathons

Today, Chris took the kids fishing at a pond down the road. Celeste found his cell phone, so mom and I took it to him. He informed us that it was supposed to be charging. Oops! We drove home, and along the way saw a garage sale that had a mattress in it. We'd been looking for one of those, so we drove home, parked the car and walked down to the house (it was a block away). We asked how much it was....she just gave it to us for free! Can't beat that price! We said we'd be back to get it, and walked home, got the car and mom and the lady loaded it up. We got it home, and then had Chris bring it inside when he got home. So, I had only walked a block and back, but I felt like I'd run a marathon! I was exhausted, beat, emotional, you name it, I felt it! But my day wasn't over yet.

We had a birthday party to go to at the city pool this evening...and being the ever-so-brain-dead mom that I am right now, I forgot to buy a gift! Oops, again! Mom and I took Terra and James to the store and browsed around, found something, and headed back out to the car. Mom needed to go to Radio Shack, so I dropped her off at the door and sat in the car and wrapped the gift (stuffed it in a gift bag with colorful tissue paper and called it good)! We got home and everyone got into their swimsuits and off we went again. The kids had fun...all except Celeste. She got sunscreen in her eyes, so she cried for the majority of the party. :o( She finally stopped for the last 10 minutes or so, and found another baby to run around with. That was funny to watch...this little girl with swollen, red, puffy eyes laughing up a storm while running around. LOL Poor thing, I felt so bad for her!

We got home and immediately threw the kids in the tub and sent them to bed. I went downstairs and showered and am sitting here crying now (LOL, don't laugh, this is totally serious, people!) because I'm weak (in my mind). I couldn't even walk a block today. I thought I was tired after that...right now, there are no words to describe what I feel. I think that no sleeping aid will be required tonight! So, how was your day?!

Sometimes It's Rude...

You know how some people are well-meaning when they make comments? I'm not so sure these people were, but....yeah!

I've gotten emails and private messages on Facebook that have just....well....rubbed me the wrong way! Seriously! I'm going to just say, I have the BEST hubby in the world! He's sweet, funny, caring and he bends over backwards to make me happy! He's the best daddy in the world (my kids' lives revolve around him)! So, that being said, I find comments like the following one rude and completely unnecessary!

"I hope, now, that Chris will stop treating you like a baby factory!"

Huh?! Seriously, you did NOT just say that! Guess what...HE DOESN'T TREAT ME LIKE THAT!!! Nor has he ever! He calls and texts me throughout the day (if I don't call him first, that is) just to make sure I'm doing well. As soon as he gets home, he occupies the kids, he plays games with them, he gets me snacks, he draws baths for me to soak in. He took the full day off of work on Tuesday so he could sit in a boring hospital room to hold my hand while I just sit there so they can draw my blood! Does this sound like an uncaring husband that sees his wife as nothing more than a baby factory?! I think not! He's quite concerned about all of this and, if I give the word, we're done having kids! The doctors have said, however, that the things that are happening now (I think with the exception of the thyroid), more than likely won't happen again (there's a very slim marginal chance of them recurring)! So, why is this all happening at once? I've asked that question over and over again. The answer is always the same - "It could be this reason or this reason, but in reality, I don't know!"

So, please, before you make a comment to someone - a comment that you THINK is harmless - please stop and think. You have no idea who you're hurting or insulting by making comments like those! Unless you've been in their shoes, lived in their house and seen EVERYTHING (the emotion, the love, the respect) that goes on there, you have no idea how that person will react!

So, I'll just say again, there is NO other man (in my eyes) out there that is better than my husband! I'm glad things worked out the way they did for me 8 (plus) years ago so that I could meet him and fall in love with him! He is an awesome person who treats me with respect and shows me (and tells me) that he loves me, everyday! I thank God for him every morning, noon and night (and even sometimes midnight, if I'm awake to do so)! I LOVE CHRIS!

Trying To Stay Positive...

...But failing miserably! I got a phone call from my doctor's office this afternoon (which was a bad thing anyway, since I just had blood work done and they said they'd only call if there was an abnormality). I failed the glucose test, so have to go in for the 3 hour one (which, in all reality, will really last for 4-5 hours). I have to check in to the hospital, get my blood drawn (I'll be fasting, by the way), drink the glucose juice (yet again), and then get my blood drawn again at 1, 2 and 3 hours past the time I finish drinking it. Oh joy.

The other abnormality I have is my thyroid. My midwife made the comment about it being "generous" during my physical. She ran a test on it, just to be on the safe side. It was found to be abnormally low. I wasn't quite sure what that meant, so I googled it. This explains the 15 pound weight-gain during my first trimester, the fatigue, but still not being able to sleep (insomnia). There were a couple of other things that I had too, that were symptoms. Having this condition, however, poses some threats to the baby. They can't really do a whole lot to treat it...because it could endanger the baby. I'm at a much higher risk for a few things too, which I was already at risk for anyway, due to the SCH that I've got going on. Fetal abruption (miscarriage), placental abruption (was high before due to the SCH, but now...), low birth weight in the baby (maybe the gestational diabetes will cancel this one out and we'll have a normal sized baby?), and even still birth. My body is fighting so hard to help my thyroid that its also fighting some of the baby too. I'm very much praying that things don't get worse. I don't think I could handle much more of this!

On a more positive note - Chris got his stitches out today and the doctor that took them out said that the person that put them in did a "perfect job"! YAY! They cleaned him right up and sent him home. Chris related very well to that doctor, so I think he's a keeper for the whole family!

*(edit update) Sorry to sound like such a "Debbie Downer". The stats on this really weren't looking that great this afternoon. I'm not going to research it further, just because I don't think I could handle reading it all. There is a reason I'm not a doctor. Give me a night to sleep on it and I'll have a better outlook when I wake up!*

Chris's Eye

Here are a couple of pictures of Chris's eye. Not exactly pretty, but it could be worse, though!