One Week

I've made it one whole week on modified bedrest. GO ME!! I'm very glad that my mom is here. As much as I appreciated all the help I got from the ladies in my Ward, nothing beats my mom! The kids have been having a ball with her being here so far, too. They all ran out to greet her when she pulled up.

I have a follow-up appt tomorrow morning. I'll post on here what the doctor says, so don't call me please. I'm not sure how long my appt will take (the nurse said to, at minimum, count on an hour), but I will not be answering my phone during that time. Sorry! I'm hoping that I don't have to be on bedrest much longer and that this thing will heal up quickly, but I also know that might be a bit too optomistic! I know everything will work out though. I have faith in that much, at least!

I don't really have anything exciting to blog about, since I've been sitting most of the time, and haven't left the house since we got home from the ER. I'll do my best to keep you all posted on everything. I love you all and thank you for the prayers that have been offered on our behalf! God bless you all!

Good Things and Bad Things

I've been doing a lot of research about my "Subchorionic Hemorrhage/Hematoma" and have decided that the wealth of knowledge on the internet can be a good thing, but bad at the same time. I've found a support group and it really IS quite common, but it can be scary. I've found out that I really don't know much about my condition - the ER doctor didn't give me a lot of details on it, so I really don't know how bad it is. Thus far, I haven't bled yet, but in reading, a lot of doctors give the advice that the "blood has to come out sometime" which really freaks me out! I'm not sure how accurate that info is, but I guess this equipped me with some questions that I should ask at my follow-up appt on Tuesday. I had just been thinking mine wasn't bad because I hadn't been bleeding - apparently that's a wrong assumption (according to internet research). It can be bad with or without the blood and some women don't get diagnosed until half way through their pregnancy because the blood just hasn't come out yet...so it's sort of a "fluke" of the medical society that mine was diagnosed when it was - it's kind of weird to explain that...so I'll just move on.

This past week, I kept feeling...I don't really know how to explain how I was feeling. Like everyone was over-reacting maybe. Yes, I'd just been through a major ordeal, but I didn't feel like it was cause for such great alarm. I didn't consider myself high-risk...at all! Now, I think that there is some justification on everyone else's part after what I've read. Even though this is common, and most of the time, there is a happy ending involved, there are still quite a few women that lose their baby because of this. They might not have even had a very bad SCH to begin with, and the saddest thing is that it happens suddenly and instantly. A lot of times they will have seen and heard the heart beat within the last couple days (one lady they used as an example heard and SAW her baby and he was just fine...only hours later to have an excruciating pain and deliver the baby at home...she was 12 weeks pregnant). These stories bring me to tears. I don't want to lose my baby and was promised in a blessing that I wouldn't. Maybe that's the thing that's keeping me the most calm during this, but that promise is also contingent on the fact that I HAVE to obey doctor's orders. Have I been doing that fully?

After reading about just WHAT modified bedrest is, and what pelvic bedrest is (which are both what I'm on right now), sometimes yes, and sometimes no. Modified bedrest means I have bathroom privileges, shower privileges, and "foodage" privileges. I can also sit...I don't have to just lay down all the time. I can get up for a few minutes to stretch and move from room to room, but I can't do anything but rest. Pelvic bedrest means no intercourse, orgasms, exercise, straining of any of the muscles around the uterus, etc. Well, this one I've followed as closely as possible, but when you're resting all the time, your digestive systems slows down...causing none other than constipation. So the straining part....well, it needs work (too much info...I'm sorry). Stairs are another thing I am not supposed to do - they're considered exercise. Guess what?! I've got stairs in my home, and yes, I've navigated them a couple times a day, but have tried to stay away from them as much as possible, trust me. Stairs and I have a long history and I'd really like to just not go there. Did I mention that I found a support group of ladies online that are going through this? I don't remember and I'm too lazy to look back and figure it out. In this group, they've compiled a little bit of info that they've gleaned from each other and their personal doctors. It's not supposed to take the place of doctor's advice, just inform women of what they've all learned. It was very informative and I'm going to copy and paste it in here...so sorry, this is going to be a long post!

Welcome new members! We are never happy to welcome new members to this group but are glad you have found a place where you can share your stories of success and loss with women who know exactly what you are going through. Discovering that you have an SCH can be very scary. ER personnel, ultrasound technicians, and doctors give us a variety of prognoses, some very awful-sounding. But the reality is that often women do get through SCH pregnancies. To make things less daunting, we put together this guide. Please note that this hasn't been reviewed by a physician, but rather represents collective wisdom gleaned from women and men on this board.

There is also a lot of great info and some links to studies and more technical papers about SCH in the "message from the group owner" on the board's homepage. You will also find a ton of great information on the archives of this board. Try reading some old posts or doing a search for a specific concern.

What you can do to treat an SCH:
There are several studies that suggest that bed rest (i.e spending all of your time in bed, often laying on your left side, getting up only to use the bathroom or perhaps to shower) and modified bed rest (i.e. a bit of moving around to get a snack, move from room to room, etc. is OK, but you spend the majority of the day resting with your feet up) are helpful for SCHs, and many women on this board will corroborate this. Since there are no scientific studies which prove the effectiveness of bed rest, some doctors don't counsel it, instead telling patients that they only need be on pelvic rest (i.e. no sex, orgasms, breast stimulation; no exercise, lifting, straining, or going up multiple flights of stairs; pelvic rest is generally part of bed rest) or just to "take it easy". At a very minimum you should probably be on pelvic rest, and maybe on bed rest. If you're unsure about what to do, listen to your body. If you bleed from activity, try slowing down.
Here are guidelines from a noted perinatologist: modified bed rest starting the first day of red bleeding until 2 to 2.5 weeks after the last day of red bleeding. Lie on your left side as much as possible. After that, pelvic rest and generally take it easy until the SCH resolves. New red blood puts you back down for another 2 weeks
drink lots of water as it calms the uterus and helps to alleviate some of the cramping.
nutrition - make sure you're getting enough iron, as bleeding heavily can cause you to lose some, also be sure to take your b vitamins and get the right amount of folic acid! Some women feel better with high-protein diets (these can help w/ morning sickness too)
alternative remedies such as homeopathic arnica and acupuncture have helped women on this board.
try to stay calm - it's not easy when things are unpredictable, but reducing your stress will help you to heal

SCH symptoms
(these are just a few of the most common ones - scan the boards for more!)
bleeding - often bright red at the beginning of an SCH, and dark wine, brown, black or grey as the SCH begins to resolve. bleeding patterns vary widely - some women start with a bright red gush and then over a period of weeks, notice that bleeding decreases and becomes more brown. others have shorter periods of bleeding, followed by a break, then more blood. brown/grey/dark blood is generally blood from an older/resolving SCH and not something to worry very much about (get your doctor to confirm this). a new bright red blood bleed is often a reason to call in and check with your doctor. several doctors have stated that you don't need to go to the ER for a bleed unless you're filling more than a pad an hour with bright red blood AND feeling ill/woozy/unstable from the loss of blood.
cramping - blood from an SCH is an irritant to your uterus, so cramps often accompany an SCH. it's always a good idea to discuss cramping with your doctor so that you can distinguish cramps from contractions or other signs of early labor.
passing clots - coagulated blood from the SCH often comes out in clots. they are gross and often to be expected.
feeling tired - SCHs can wear you out physically and emotionally. try to take time to rest to give yourself energy to heal.

What to ask your Doctor/Perinatologist (peri) about your SCH:
diagnosis
-what are the dimensions (usually height, width and depth in cm) of your SCH? Does your doctor have a sense of how long it might take for it to resolve? (usually the answer to this is no… sadly, it’s nearly impossible to predict how long an SCH will last; some resolve in a few weeks, others a few months, and others persist through your entire pregnancy.)
-where is the SCH in relationship to your placenta and the rest of your uterus? If your peri can draw a picture for you it can be helpful to be able to see it.
-Is any of the placenta detached/torn from the uterine wall as a result of the SCH? If the placenta is torn, how much of it is torn away? Does your doctor expect it to reattach? How might the tear affect your pregnancy?
-how often does the peri want to see you? is this enough monitoring for you to feel comfortable between the peri and your ob or midwife?

"treatment"/restrictions
-What restrictions (bed rest, pelvic rest, "taking it easy") does your doctor recommend? what does your doctor mean by these? are they OK for you? can you fly with an SCH? Should you restrict car travel to a certain time or distance? For those of us at altitude, is it safe to go up or down a few thousand feet (or more) in elevation?
-Can you get prenatal massage or acupuncture to help discomfort and stress until the SCH resolves? Does your Dr. know of reliable massage/acupuncture practices for high risk pregnancies?

getting through it
-Can your peri give you a sense of what to expect in terms of bleeding and cramping? how much bleeding, of what color, and what kind of cramps can you expect? what symptoms would lead you to contact him or her between appointments? what can you do to soothe your cramps if you get them? -What might you be at risk for going forward in your pregnancy? if your doctor is worried about potential early labor, when does the hospital that he/she is affiliated with consider your baby to be viable? where is the best NICU in your area if you go into labor early? (hospitals vary, some consider a baby viable at 22 weeks, but 24 weeks is much more common.)
-What are your next milestones?

Other SHC-related issues:
unpredictability: The causes of SCH are little understood, and what helps them resolve even less so. This means that few doctors can even give you statistics on how the SCH will change your chances for reaching viability, preterm labor, or membrane rupture - it's all unpredictable, and seems to change from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy. This might help explain why each doctor and practice seems to have a different approach - some prescribe bedrest while others do not, some will monitor closely and others just have you check in whenever you have a red bleed. All most will say is that an SCH gives you more of a risk for later complications, and that the longer it sticks around the more risk you've got. Exactly how much though? Few will say.
where is an SCH in your uterus? An SCH is below the chorionic tissue that the placenta attaches to. Many people think that an SCH is a separation in the placenta from the wall of the uterus, but that is only one possible type of SCH. An SCH actually does not have to be anywhere near the placenta, just below the chorion (i.e. the "C" in SCH, the tissure that covers your uterus, and what is shed during a period.) That is why it is important to figure out where the location is of the bleed is. If it is near the placenta or behind the placenta then it could (could... not will) cause the placenta to separate, or perhaps to detach if the SCH really grows, but if it is nowhere near the placenta then it's a bit less threating
severity of the tear - a doppler on the u/s can help determine if the tear is all genuinely a tear, or if part is just dark bc of regular blood (arterial?) flow between uterus and placenta.
placental tear that does not reattach: Sometimes a piece of the placenta will tear and never reattach due to an SCH. If this happens, doctors will look for signs that the rest of the placenta is compensating. If your baby is still growing on target, isn't showing other signs of distress, or u/s shows that the placenta is growing in other areas, this is probably what is happening, and the detachment is less of a cause for concern.
medicaid and WIC - if you are getting stung by the high cost of your high risk pregnancy, you may want to look into getting help from these programs; call or visit your local health office to find out more. when you are pregnant the income limit for medicaid goes up, so you may qualify even if you did not before you were pregnant. also, if you already have health insurance, medicaid can cover the additional costs of your co-payments and work as supplement to your current insurance.
vaginal delivery vs. c-section - you should discuss this with your doctor, but it is definitely possible to have a vaginal delivery with an SCH. many women here have, and there is no particular reason why a SCH (even an active one) would cause you to have to have a c-section.
placental lakes - no apparent impact on pregnancies, they appear to act like varicose veins in the placenta. Look scary, but harmless. Not necessarily tied to SCH - kind of random phenomena.
bright spots in your LO's bowel - while it can definitely be an indicator of a problem, they also pop up in SCH babies because the hemorrhage pigment can cross the membrane and be ingested with the amniotic fluid. Also scary, but if it appears/disappears between scans it's more likely pigment and not harmful.

Useful threads:
SCH stories
Ten things I learned from bed rest

Am I, or Am I Not?!

I just got a phone call from my midwifery center asking what my plans were. I was on the other line with Chris so I just let it go to voice mail. The message really rubbed me the wrong way! She said that she just got a note saying that I was "high-risk and transferring care, but that she also had another note saying that I was staying there - she had looked at my chart and the paperwork sent from the ER and said that all looked stable and that they just needed a follow-up u/s to confirm that all was healed and well, but that I wasn't high-risk and that she didn't know where I had gotten that info." HELLO?! It was THEIR OFFICE, one of their MIDWIVES that told me that! I'm not just pulling this info from thin air! Seriously! I know I shouldn't let this get to me, but really!

I hate being bounced around, so because of the fact that we had to get an OB's opinion, I just decided (with Chris's full consent too, by the way) to stay at this one office that has midwives that can deliver in the hospital setting. They completely down-played this whole situation and said that I probably wasn't high-risk, but they would do the follow-up and let me know for sure, but to just rest until then.

After talking with them and their billing office, and the hospital's billing office and our insurance's representative, we found out that I don't have to pay for anything on this baby unless I need a prescription, then it'd be a very small co-pay. Everything was being covered! Prenatal care, labor and delivery, postpartum, etc! At the midwifery office, I was going to have to pay around $1500 still...this move was saving us money. YAY! That was the main thing that I was holding on to for this transfer of care because of the disappointment of having to deliver somewhere else. It was heartbreaking for me (I know, you can call me crazy if you want to, but whatever)! I hate having to search for doctors...and GOOD ones! This group of ladies comes highly recommended and they're in the physicians plaza at the hospital, so I'm literally just right down the hall from L&D. That's a comfort for Chris. This whole ordeal really shook him up and he's bending over backward for me right now, bless his heart! I love that man!

Random

I'm not really sure what to type today. Nothing much has changed, but my cramping has been going down, so that is a good thing!

Today, there were two families in the Ward that wanted to help us out, so the kids got split up and are playing at someone else's house today. I'm sitting here by myself, and I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to do! Normally if my kids were gone, I'd do as much as I could to get caught up on house work, but that's not really a possibility right now. So, what am I doing? Watching tv, chatting with my family online, and just bummin' around my bedroom! Although, the prospect of getting to take a shower or bath that is uninterrupted is sounding fabulous right about now! Hmmm, that sounds nice!

Did Someone Say High-Risk?!

Ok, you can call me crazy if you'd like, but I never once considered myself "high-risk" through this whole ordeal! At least, not until my midwifery office told me that I was and said I had to be checked out by an OB before going back there again this pregnancy! Can we say FRUSTRATING?! Yes, I knew it was serious, but high-risk? I've decided that a bad word! Moving on....

Another frustration (this is turning into a venting post) - I wasn't really prepared for the question "Is your child handicapped?" I should have prepared myself for that, but I didn't. I got that question by one of my helpers - it was purely innocent and just wanting to know how to handle his tantrums (his schedule is no longer consistent at the moment and it's causing issues), but it took me off guard. My answer was "yes and no". A bit cryptic, but after explaining that its just a speech delay and that he's not really handicapped, just still developing in that department, all was ok and everyone moved on. I'm just still hung up on it, for some reason. Ok, rant over. I need to get busy on doing my research online and finding a midwife that can deliver in a hospital - wish me luck!

Thankful And Frustrated

I can't say how thankful I am for things working out for the best. Chris called a member of the bishopric last night and he came over to help give me a priesthood blessing. In the blessing, I was promised that everything would be alright and the baby would be ok as well. That was such a comfort. That was around 8 pm, and then my house was full of the sound of the phone ringing and then the Relief Society President coming over to visit to see what we needed. We have a dinner lined up for tonight and Laura (the RS pres) came back over this morning and has been working away at cleaning my house to make me feel better. I'm so grateful for that, but I'm not so sure it makes me feel better knowing that I'm such a slob right now. It's even more frustrating knowing that I can't get right down and help her clean. I just get to sit and direct traffic and answer questions that need answering. We got to talk a bit this morning before the kids got up and then she had brought over stuff for breakfast for the kids. They even got to help her make French Toast!

The cramps are still there, but not as bad as they were yesterday (at least they're not as bad until I end up heaving - then I'm needing some pain meds)! We're all surviving and I'm very, very thankful for everyone's help and prayers!

Things Like That Just Don't Happen To "Us"

But today they did! Actually it started last night. I started cramping and at first thought it was just "round ligament" pains of my growing uterus and that it'd just go away after an hour or so. No biggie, right? Wrong! The pain increased more and more and we debated whether or not to go in to the hospital last night or not. After putting the kids in bed, we decided to just hold out and that the pain would probably subside by morning. A couple of times during the night, I awoke to VERY bad cramps and pains, I took some Tylenol and went back to bed, praying that it would be gone by morning. It was still there, so I had Chris hang around here until the midwifery office opened up so I could get an opinion on what needed to be done - maybe I was just being a hypochondriac, after all! After describing my pains to the midwife, she thought it best to go in to the ER or Urgent Care to get blood work drawn and and ultrasound to rule out an ectopic pregnancy and then to keep them posted on what was going on. This scared me because my midwifery office doesn't usually just jump to the "hospital" conclusion and feels that most things will resolve themselves.

I called a couple of urgent cares while getting kids dressed and myself ready and none of them would do this and all of them referred me to the hospital. We set out and I called a good friend (Jeanne - she took my kids once before when we were in the Urgent Care with James) and asked if we could drop the kids by and she gladly agreed to watch them, feed them and just love them to pieces! I checked into the ER and Chris drove them over to her house. They took some blood work, did a urine check, and then finally ordered and ultrasound. The lab tech doing the u/s wouldn't really give us a whole lot of info, but showed us the heartbeat on Baby and printed a picture for us to take home (we have a cute little 'blob' to show off now). She didn't, however, mark the u/s as "urgent" so the Radiology department took their time in looking it over. They found some blood leaking around the placenta and in a space between the placenta and uterine wall, which means there was some trauma there, somehow and it just needed to heal.

*This happened with Celeste, but it was about half way through the pregnancy and because one of my wonderful children decided to take a flying leap landing right on my stomach causing a slight tear.*

The ER doctor said that it is called a "Threatened Miscarriage" and that it is actually quite common. He said I'm not on full blown bed rest, but if I want everything to heal, I need to take it easy for a couple of weeks. Luckily, Chris has a wonderful boss (his Uncle) that decided to send someone else on his business trip through Wyoming, just so he could stay close by this week for me. He also said to let him know if Chris needed help with everything here in Colorado and he wouldn't hesitate to send someone out here. I'm glad things aren't bad enough that he needs to do that, but I was VERY grateful for the offer!

We are home from the hospital now, and Chris is making dinner and the kids are helping him with that. I'm glad things weren't worse, but we're still not out of the woods yet, though. We need to keep close tabs on everything for the next couple of days and if the pains don't stop or get worse, then we need to go back in. They also checked the possibility of my appendix causing issues, but so far, that's not the culprit. I'm going to go lay down and relax and watch cartoons with my kids (they're beginning to gather on my bed to watch some TV with me)!!

Tired is Bad News

Last night I had a Girls Night Out with some of my friends from Strasburg - it was a BLAST!! I thoroughly enjoyed catching up and just gabbing with them about nothing in particular. We went to dinner and then to a movie (Letters to Juliet - totally awesome) and then sat and talked for a while afterward. However, this morning - not so great. Chris had to get up early to take care of some business stuff and also help out a family in our Ward, so I didn't get to sleep much. The kids have been behaving (at least I hope they are). If I hear crying coming from downstairs, I'm afraid to go down and see what's up, as I'm very dizzy today and have absolutely no equilibrium (literally, I'm bouncing off the hallway walls as I walk down it). I already have issues with stairs when I'm pregnant and would really, really like to not fall down a flight of stairs this pregnancy. Bless Terra's heart, she's taking over a lot of responsibilities for me today. Last night was so much fun, but I don't think I can do the late-night thing anymore (I didn't get home until 1:45 am)!! I've also been very short of breath today - nothing new to me, this always happens in pregnancy and usually requires an inhaler by the 2nd trimester!! I really hope Chris gets home soon - *sniff*!! Yes, I'm complaining a bit today, I'm sorry! It's just been a rough few days. Chris went down to check on the birds at the shop the other day and discovered that a fox had found our flock and raided it. We have ONE chicken left and a beat up goose (none of those died or were missing though) and all the ducks are still ok! Ugh!

Happy things of the day - Yesterday I got a couple of GREAT deals on Craigslist. We got a potty chair for Celeste and she LOVES it. I hope that maybe now she won't go pee on the floor anymore (wishful thinking on my part, I'm sure)! I also found a brand new car seat for $20. Never been in an accident, honest people that it came from and still has the user's manual with it! YAY ME! I was quite proud of that find, especially since we'd budgeted about $75-$80 for those things this paycheck, totally hoping that we'd be able to find them that cheap! WOOHOO!

Eight and a Half Weeks

Morning Ramblings:

I have some hunches about this pregnancy, but I'll keep them to myself for now. I feel like things are going to last forever today - mainly because I've been heaving most of the morning. Thank goodness for yogurt. It's been my lifesaver and it doesn't taste too shabby coming back up (comparatively, anyway). Every time I try to make myself a fruit smoothie, Celeste seems to think she gets dibs on it and immediately comes and sits right next to me and sometimes on top of me. She's quite a diva as well! Most days I think she'll be fine with another little one running around here, but then there are those days that I really think we're going to have some serious issues! Only time will tell, I suppose!

We had a Parent Teacher Conference with Tyler's teacher and one of the therapists yesterday right after school. They had nothing but good to say about him. He's been growing and progressing by leaps and bounds over the last 3 months! We're hoping and praying that he'll be able to go back to that same teacher next school year, but we'll have to wait till toward the end of summer to find that out for sure.

I also have a confession to make. Every single time I've been pregnant, it just seems like I'm drawn to certain TV shows on a couple different channels (TLC and Discovery Health - I'll let you just guess at what they are). I just can't help myself. And when I watch them, a lot of times, I turn into a blubbering boob and need to have my box of tissues right there next to me. LOL Yes, I am a nerd, but that's ok!

Curses?

I don't usually believe in curses, but...I think that my pregnancies are cursed! Each and every single time I've been pregnant, someone in Chris's family has passed away! With Terra it was a cousin (young, no health problems), with James it was an aunt (cancer finally took her - it was way sad), with Tyler it was an uncle (freak accident), with Celeste it was Grandma Smitth (old age) and with this one it was another cousin. She had a brain aneurysm and was a vegetable and just never recovered. One minute, they said she was showing some signs of improvement, the next, she just passed away. Maybe we should rethink this idea that we have of a large family! Hmmm...(shall we move on to happier things now?)

Have I mentioned how much I just LOVE our Ward?! They are totally awesome here. Very warm and welcoming to everyone. We just got another dinner invite and I've had so many people come and offer help to me if my morning sickness gets too bad. I've got offers to babysit when I have my baby appointments and play dates scheduled for the summer months already. I really just love it here and feel like we fit right in. Chris even feels this way. He's getting involved in many activities and is planning on going down the the cannery this week...just because they needed someone else to go. We have dentists, optometrists and other sorts of doctors in our Ward and none of them get offended or seem put out if you ask for help or for an opinion. The dentist that we talked to today didn't even seem alarmed or annoyed that I haven't taken any of my kids to the dentist yet in their lifetime. Terra has a chipped tooth that is very quickly becoming a cavity problem. He said he'd take a look at it and it shouldn't be any problem! AWESOME! I taught my first lesson on Young Women today and the beehives were very funny girls. We laughed and joked, but really portrayed the lesson in a way that they could understand, I think anyway! Things are going awesome!

Life's Small Joys

You know how something small is just HUGE at times?! Oh yeah, right now is SOOO one of those times. I've been feeling crummy today, but not as bad as it has been, so we tried really hard to clean up the house a bit since I felt semi-normal. The piles of laundry that were taking over my bedroom are now folded (all but my clothes) and put away. Chris made lunch for everyone - bless his heart - and it just wasn't all that great for me. Sad. So, I asked him if he wouldn't mind if I got a treat today. He said of course, and mentioned we needed milk too. Going into grocery stores is a rather, well, bad thing for me. The smell if meat and seafood overwhelms me right from the front door. So he went and got the milk, and some lunchables and then went to TCBY Treats and got me a smoothie from there. It's something like "Very Fruity" or whatever they call it. I don't really care, all I care about is that it was one of those TO DIE FOR things! So yummy! It's one of those small things that was really not so small - YAY! I drank that first and am now working on the lunchable. Ah, life is good today!

Yes, I crave lunchables. Odd, but not really. It has protein, which is what my body really needs right now, and is low in the sugar department, at least I think it is anyway. Hmmm, might have to research that out! Well, whatever, it's more than good to me right now and it just so happens to be settling my stomach right at the moment! I love my sweetheart - he's so good to me!!

Missing "Home"

Today, just as it was starting to sprinkle outside, I was leaving the house to go get Terra from school. When it rains, the smell of everything around me seems to heighten just a little bit. Next door, there are some Lilac bushes, and they're just starting to bloom! They are SOOO beautiful. However, smelling them makes me miss home. I miss those care-free days of growing up in the small "podunk" town. I don't miss the town as much as I miss my Mom. Lilacs are her favorite flower. I miss my whole family today. I've been rather weepy today and I'm sure we could pass it off as pregnancy hormones, but when you don't see your family very often, there are just days that tend to make you homesick - kinda like today did for me! So, to all of my family that's reading this, I MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

I'll leave this post off with a funny story. Right after smelling those Lilacs, I got in the car, turned to make sure everyone was buckled, and caught a wiff of a ripe diaper. I had just changed Celeste, so I asked Tyler, "Are you stinky?" What was his reply? "No, it da car!"

Bountiful Baskets

My sisters got their first baskets from www.bountifulbaskets.org and are LOVING it! Since her blog is private, she gave me permission to post on here what all they got. This is just a small sampling of what they got!
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This is what was in my basket when I got there to pick up...

3 lbs apples
several tangerines (about a dozen)
6 mangos
1 seedless watermelon
bunch of bananas
bunch of spinach
head of romaine lettuce
6 fresh ears corn
1 brociflower
1 carton fresh button mushrooms
fresh parsley (LARGE bunch)
fresh basil (4-6 LARGE sprigs)
fresh rosemary (5 LARGE sprigs)
fresh sage (a few large sprigs as well)
onions (1 lg and 2 med)
1 head garlic
1 eggplant
2 zucchini
3 Roma tomatoes
4 green peppers

I am probably leaving something out but WOW it was so much it filled up a laundry basket full! All of this for just $27.00 (there was a $3.00 charge for this being my first time hahaha) I can't wait for next time!!!
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Doesn't that sound SOOO yummy?! I really am wishing and hoping we can get it out here soon so that I can start getting this stuff too! Their website has all sorts of other baskets that you can get as well. Talk about yummy - and for an AMAZING price!

One Step Closer

We're getting there! Today, I paid off a credit card that I'd gotten to build up my credit. The customer service lady tried EVERYTHING in her power to keep the account open when I tried to close it out. She offered to put a massive amount of money into it to cover the monthly fees that accrue. She offered to pay for 4 months at first, I had gotten her up to almost next year when I finally had to really put my foot down.

"Listen! Since you haven't really been listening that close, it doesn't matter to me how much you want to credit to my account, I just want it closed, please!"

"Well, you haven't had it open very long. A year isn't long enough to raise your credit score substantially."

"Why is it, then, that my score has gone up to over 600 from the low 500's?"

"It has? Well, is there anything else that I can do to convince you to keep it open? I mean, during these tough economic times, you never know when you might need to use it again."

"I like to think of it as - if I'm not giving you my money, I'll have it to spend, or save and then fall back on, so please, just close the account!"

"Ok, here is your confirmation number, have a nice day."

She hung up before I could say good bye. I'm sorry I made her upset, but not bad enough to call back and apologize, because the feeling of not having this particular account hanging over my head, is SOOOOO AWESOME!

Popular, I'm Gonna Be Popular!

I feel very popular and loved today. I'm being featured on 2 (count them, TWO) blogs today! WOOHOO! I'm actually very honored, to tell the truth. Both of these blogs get frequented more than mine does, but I must say, neither of them really mention my blog...maybe just in passing, though, which is just fine by me. I'm still VERY honored to be featured on their blogs! It makes me feel VERY important!

If you'd like to read up, go here and here!

Breathtaking

"Life isn't about how many breaths you take...it's about how many moments take your breath away." Anonymous

Today I had a moment like this. The kids were running around and every now and then, one of them would run up and say, "I love you, mommy" and then run away to do something else. After each time this happened, Celeste would come over and go "mmmmmah" and then give her little rendition of "I love you." She loves giving kisses, and today wasn't any different. Each time the kids would run by, Tyler, who was sitting on the other side of the room playing by himself quietly, would look over and grin, and then go back to playing. One particular time, Terra was the one who came and told me she loved me, gave me a hug and then ran out of the room, little sister in tow. So, Tyler took this opportunity to come over, crawl onto my lap, give me a great big hug, and say, "I wub oo, Mom!" And then he nestled right back down in my lap until he decided he was done being held, and then he ran out of the room to go play too. Most parents wouldn't bat an eye at this simple phrase. I, however, was moved to sobbing tears immediately. This is the first time in his LIFE that he has said those words to me. He's 3 years old and he's just now beginning to say them. I cry still thinking about it. The joy that I feel at this moment makes all those trials, dealing with therapy sessions gone wrong and just plain wanting to give up on it altogether, WELL worth while. I told his Pre-School teacher, Miss Kirsten, about it and she cried with me. This is such a huge step for him and it just shows all the progress he's been making. I can't wait to hear what else this little guy has to say. I have a feeling he's got a lot bottled up in there and just can't wait to spill it all out!

So, tonight as I lay here in bed, getting ready for sleep to take me, I am basking in the feeling of being a mom...but not just any mom, I'm Tyler's mom - the proudest mom out there!

Food

I have a love-hate relationship with food right now. I mean, how is it that one day Hot Dogs could be the ULTIMATE meal - and then 2 days later they're causing me to hold the bathroom toilet hostage...all the while the kids are outside the door knocking saying they have to go potty...I can hear them doing the potty dance too. The really sad part about this tale is that I couldn't even tell them to go downstairs to use the bathroom down there because my mouth was....uh...otherwise occupied at that very moment (they still haven't figured this out...if someone is in one bathroom, use the other!)!!

On the flip side of things, poor Terra had a sore throat today and Chris said she had a fever...I didn't feel the fever and usually my hands are colder than his are. Her temp even read normal, but because he insisted that she felt warm and she whined every time she coughed or sneezed, she stayed home from church, which meant I did too. I got some laundry folded, the living room picked up and cleaned, the kids' beds remade with fresh linens and Terra helped. This wasn't going to be a freebee day for her or me. Yes, the Sabbath is supposed to be a day of rest, but I figured I've been resting enough this week (or at least trying to) that it makes up for it...they cancel each other out somehow, right?! The whole time we were working, side by side, she didn't act sick or complain once, which leads me to believe that I was right...she's just fine! It was fine though, because it gave me an excuse to stay home and feel yucky here at home instead of somewhere else - also got me out of the risk of making myself a spectacle in a public bathroom...or garbage can, whichever I got to before exploding.

On that happy note, I think I'll go lay down and rest now. I think I might have gone past my max in the work department today...so sad! Which brings up another question...how is it that all my energy can be zapped so quickly?! Oh well, another post another time.

Can We Say Hormonal?!

Yesterday was the worst day yet for morning sickness. I felt so awful that even the thought of going into the kitchen with the intent to make food made me gag! But, I suffered through the day and we all came out just fine...well, sort of. I'm still WAY nauseated today and there is a smell in our house that I can't pin-point and it's making the issue worse. I'll have to air out the house when it's not raining or threatening to. Last night Chris made a favorite snack of ours...chips and salsa. He usually blends grated cheese and extra garlic into the salsa for added flavor and it really does taste good. However, last night...I couldn't even stand to be sitting next to him. I scooted WAY over to the other side of the bed and tried not to breath in too deeply, and had the garbage can sitting close by, just in case. Finally he decided he was done, grabbed the bowl, held it out for me and asked, "Want some?"

"NO, but thanks." I said through gritted teeth.

He capped the bowl and put it in the fridge for future use and then came back to bed to finish watching the Jazz/Nuggets game. He held out his arm for me to snuggle in close and as I do he asks, "Is everything ok, or are you just sick?" To which my response was a hand over my mouth and "Can you please go brush your teeth?!" He poked fun of me for a minute and then at commercial he went and did as requested...he even gargled with mouth wash afterward, bless his heart. It only helped some, but there's not much else he could have done at that point, I guess. The smell of fresh garlic just doesn't sit well with me right now. Well, while he was brushing his teeth, I burst into tears because I felt so bad and thought that I had maybe hurt his feelings by telling him in a round about way that he had bad breath. When I told him this he just laughed, which made the tears worse...LOL. I can laugh about it now, but last night it was a real tragedy, I swear!

"One ticket for the 9 month hormonal roller coaster please?! I don't suppose this is an express ride, is it? And, yes, thank you, I will need a barf-baggie!"